For a while now I've always found Friday nights to be "The Night" of every week that I can finally kick off my shoes and let down my hair so to speak. The chaos of Monday through Friday with toting Riley to the bus stop, coming home, fighting with homework, make supper, wake up. Rinse and repeat. Well it was exhausting but something I've come across now days is that homeschooling is exactly that, schooling at home. Go figure eh? I'm essentially Riley's 24/7 Encyclopedia, this switch has just gone off inside of him and the world is all brand new to him. While I'm loving that he's thriving again, a real living breathing boy! I'm exhausted, my husband predicted it pretty much exactly because he knows "everything". I have outdone myself and worn myself down. I'm burnt out.
Although tired I'm also excited. Lately I'm baffled at how wonderful my kids truly are. I've always known how wonderful they are because frankly they're mine. Don't we all think our kids are great? I'm not the momma who thinks "oh man my kid is perfect and does no wrong," but I have to admit most kids really freak me out. I was never one of those girls who spent their entire lives dreaming of being a mommy and a wife. I was the whoops I guess this isn't so bad, I guess we can get married momma & wife. Its a learning experience, I still feel the urge to lysol other peoples children and I have my own kids somewhat "trained" not to touch things I haven't sterilized. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've always loved my kids as-is. I had no expectations of what was to be because I never really thought that far ahead. There were so many days that Riley got himself in a world of trouble at school and I would cry just thinking to myself, how did this happen? why? What did I do wrong? Do I not love him enough? In the past few weeks I've not felt that way at all. It might sound selfish but as much as this was for Riley, now I feel loved too! I'm more scared and stressed but my wonderful little boy is back. Riley is becoming a whole new person. He has conversations with me and he says and does things just to be nice.
Today was his first day of YMCA youth soccer and Riley did something he never ever did before... he acted shy. Riley has always been a strong and boisterous personality. He demands attention and often gets it, but not today. He was nervous and not aggressive or boisterous at all (ok well maybe a little). I'm not sure if its good or bad that he's turned in his wild card, but the fact that he's mellowing out is so relieving. All of these years the doctors and teachers have tried to force drugs on us and he's chilling out on his own! He still acts outrageous from time to time but overall he's so different. I've said it over and over but its so strange what just a month can do for a kid. With homeschooling, every day has become our Friday. Every morning we can wake up refreshed and happy just to be us. No shoes required.
Today was refreshing. It was the first day I felt like we were truly "off" since before Christmas. School is closed, ok? Yes, thanks. We had soccer, the grocery mart and then home. That was that. The week is over. I found the best off switch I could. A bath and some leftover Christmas Cookies. Everything was great until Connor found me. Which normally isn't too bad but this time... he learned how to turn on the shower and "blow bubbles" in the tub. (and I don't mean with his mouth) Better luck next time then maybe? Hopefully.