Friday, December 23, 2011

Gratitude Not Attitude

From Pre-Thanksgiving

Holidays are always very special, but extremely hectic for me. Its a time where I can share with my family a great meal. I always work too hard, this time of year especially. Most often I take for granted that I'm very lucky to have the ability to wake up to the people I love every day. Instead of sitting down and appreciating the company of my family, I run around making sure there is an abundance of food, and things are clean. I process and can all through summer and fall, I over do the holiday meals. I forget to sit down, and rarely sleep. I am working on writing my cookbook, (again) I HAVE to keep up with Neo-Homesteading. With homeschooling, potty training, doctors visits and housework.... I am just teetering on bat shit crazy. 

Although Riley's homeschooling isn't without hiccups, overall he is happier and kinder than most kids I know. Without a doubt he will not be bullied, he will not have a substandard education. As selfish as it may sound, I truly feel under valued. Not long ago I made the mistake of asking Riley what he would eat if I were to die tomorrow. With a glimmer in his eye he said CORN DOGS! (As if he were anticipating the moment.) I very often wonder if everything I do actually matters? Why not just give them the corn dogs and chicken nuggets they want? So I created an activity that encouraged everyone to show gratitude instead of attitude. Make paper your place mats and encourage everyone to write 10 things they are thankful for. Sharing with my family my stories and meals is a way I'm trying to share with them my "10 things" every day. To them I feel I have to force the subject but it is worthwhile. I was surprised to find out that both Stephen and Riley really do appreciate the things I do. They both included things like family, home cooked food, raw milk and of course me! 

It kills me a little each day to work myself to the bone, so while most people are setting resolutions to lose weight, or quit this or that. I am telling myself that next year I will try to relax more. My lack of patience doesn't help anyone, the clean floor doesn't make my kids feel loved and the date and raisin cookies no one eats, well they sure don't help me out in the "appreciated" department. If I were more patient and calm, we would probably all be happier. So needless to say this week and next, I'm chilling out. Riley has limited "schoolwork" and the bulk of my housework and writing will be done with limits attached. Stephens Genius Idea: Work for -x- amount of time and sit the F* down. What an idea! I'm looking forward to not doing dishes at 1 am.